Miracle #40 - Be You In Charge
Last summer I left my 22 year old son in charge of my house, the dog, and his 18 year old sister for a week.
My other daughter was working in North Carolina for the summer and invited me to spend the 4th of July with her. I was very excited about spending time with her as well as being near the beach!
She was working for an adventure tourism company and said that she could hook me up with a free tour and a free place to stay.
It was all going just peachy until the night I couldn't reach my son on the phone. He was out late with friends and not responding to my calls or texts.
His sister was at work.
Who was taking care of our elderly dog?
When I finally got hold of him, he told me it would be several hours before he made it home.
I was ready to blow a gasket.
I wrung my hands and stomped my feet and complained to my daughter:
Why was he so irresponsible?
Why wasn't he staying in touch with me?
Why wasn't he doing things the way I thought they should be done?
What if our dog dropped dead?
My daughter gave me a good talking-to.
She pointed out that I was ruining my own vacation with all this ranting and raving.
She told me that I said I had faith in my son, but that I clearly did not trust him, or I wouldn't feel the need to check up on things at home.
This thought gave me pause.
I was a hypocrite. I told my son that I believed in him, but my lack of faith was evidenced by my actions.
I realized that I had to let go.
All my fears suddenly bubbled to the surface.
What if my son couldn't make it in life and ended up out on the street....Homeless....Living under a bridge.....
The truth was ugly. I had no confidence in my son.
I had thought that it was my "job" as a parent to not only inspire and encourage him, but to guide and protect him, but......it was all just a cover for a "special relationship".
All my nagging was not producing results.
I saw the craziness that my ego was producing for both my son and myself.
So, after wigging out for a day, I let it go. I put the situation on the altar as ACIM says, and handed it over to a higher power.
I recognized that none of my fears that my son might fail were helpful, and in fact, were preventing him from standing on his own two feet.
I allowed the Holy Spirit to be in charge.
When I got back home I told my son that we were selling the house and moving in a few weeks, and that he was going to have to make his own way in life.
And I left it at that.
We sold our home, packed up everything, and moved.
And, like a miracle pulled out of the ether, my son found a great job and a place to live. All by himself.
I had let go of feeling like it was my responsibility to shepherd my son through life.
And once he understood that I was no longer going to be the safety net there to catch him, he realized that it was time to pull out his wings and fly.
Thank You, Holy Spirit
"He is in charge by my request. And he will hear and answer me because he speaks for God my father and his Holy Son." - Workbook Lesson 362