Miracle #6 - I Rest In God
This miracle isn't really the sixth one to happen to me in chronological order, but the first.
However, I was thinking about it today and wanted to document it.
It was the first time that I saw a glimmer of hope, and then had that feeling confirmed for me by the Holy Spirit.
I found A Course in Miracles in 1988 and tried to read it but it seemed like gobbledy-gook.
I knew there was an important message in it but I just couldn't seem to understand it.
I started doing the Workbook lessons, which seemed more manageable.
I whipped through the first 60 in two months, then hit a wall of resistance. I continued to do them slowly, off and on, but never really got past about 100.
By 1989 I was 28 years old, single and in a bad relationship that wasn't working out the way I had hoped.
I was living alone in a condo in Greenbelt, Maryland and very lonesome, so I decided to fill some of my free time by volunteering as a tutor at the public library.
Once evening I was coming home from a tutoring session with a boy who had Down's Syndrome named Jimmy.
I parked in front of my place and got out of the car.
The sun was setting and the sky was all pink and the temperature was perfect and it was a glorious evening.
I looked up at the sky and drank it in and - for the first time in my life - I felt that everything was alright. I felt I could relax. I didn't have to save the world or save myself. I could just enjoy life and be happy.
It only lasted a few seconds, but that feeling of pure trust and confidence in the universe left an indelible impression on me.
By 2004 my life had changed dramatically. I had met a wonderful man, gotten married, and had 3 children - things that seemed impossible to me 15 years earlier.
I was living in Virginia Beach and had taken up my ACIM practice again after a long hiatus, attending a weekly study group at the Heritage Health Food store.
One couple in our group seemed more enlightened than the rest.
We would rant about issues in our lives and they just sat serenely and advised us to "choose again".
One day, the wife brought me a gift.
She said she had been taking photographs of the beach lately. Then she handed me a framed picture saying: "Holy Spirit wants you to have this".
I was kind of flabbergasted that the Holy Spirit would direct her to give me a present.
But as I looked at the photo, I understood the message - Holy Spirit wanted me to know that I could relax. That everything was going to be OK. That the universe would support me.
I've kept that photo on my nightstand for the past 11 years.
Whenever I see a pink sky again, I am reminded that I can trust in the Holy Spirit and everything will work itself out.
And when I remember to do just that, it always does.
Thank you, Holy Spirit
The teachers of God have trust in the world, because they have learned it is not governed by the laws the world made up. It is governed by a Power that is in them but not of them. It is this Power That keeps all things safe. — ACIM Manual for Teachers